As I start to write this blog, I sit like the bird standing on the edge of a cliff, “will I fly or will I fall”.
This is the place and space of the new, and this is the same whoever you are.
Young and old we all come to this cliff edge when we choose to learn, to grow and to try something new. The question is how and why does the gap in between being on the edge and flying actually differ. Why does it differ? Why?
When you look at a small child the desire to learn is in them from the get-go, from feeding off the breast to taking the very first steps and everything in between, they are wired for learning and growing. Then as they get older the speed for the actual ‘take-off’ slows down, why?
As you read this blog just consider, consider that you are about to do something for the very first time, how do you feel? Overwhelmed maybe? That you can’t do it or that you will fail at it.
The thing is our mind comes into play, this fantastic computer that we all have inside our heads thrives on repetition. Doing a task repeatedly, like the learning to walk, talk and run, our children kept going, falling, failing, and doing.
Yet the critical mind was not there then, no hidden words were hiding in the programme whispering that it wasn’t possible or that you would fail, there was a clear space for learning and growing.
The wings of flight were there, clear, clean and ready for action, every single day the child rose with curiosity at the world around them, bumps and scrapes were felt, accepted, and they kept going because they were full of desire, full of purpose and full of self-love.
Then starts the journey of walking beside other adults and the wings of flight start to get sticky, the feathers get gummed up by opinions and the fears of others. The adult world beckons and the wings lose their sparkle. Slowly, so slowly it’s almost impossible to register, the vibrant, growing being that was driven by learning and flight starts to slow down.
The small child that would reach for the desired item on a shelf way above their reach, with determination and sheer will, loses the will to get out of bed, out of the door and out into life.
So many books are written about the techniques of parenting, yet few are written from the understanding that we as the adults in this world really and truly need to work on ourselves.
Our children listen yes to our words, but they also watch, and it is in this combination they are exposed to that which closes the wings of the most beautiful flying beings. OUR CHILDREN.
It is so easy to reach for something outside of ourselves and I admit I have done the same many times in my life, yet the way to empower ourselves and our kids is for us to reclaim our own wings so we can stop the rot that is eating away at our children’s.
This world is full of so many experiences and to raise children who have their wings intact is key to them living vital, and joyful lives. Yes, they will fall, they will have life experiences come their way, but it is us as the adult that stops the premature closing of these precious wings before they have even left the nest.
Why should we do this? Consider how many excuses you use before you try something new, really and truly check in with yourself. Is this how you honestly want to be? Is this what you want your children to inherit?
To make any changes and to make lasting change we have to have a reason, a reason that is so important it will burn through the doubting mind. To find your reason, feel the result of having clipped wings for yourself. Look at your children and decide that you want more for them, you want more for you.
Last December my dear mum left this earth, when you spend time with grief, when you truly grieve, it makes you wake up, it makes you see and hear things you may not want to, but ultimately they are for your own good.
One day we will return to the land of forever wings, in heaven, BUT now matters our today’s and tomorrows matter. To embrace life with curiosity and joy, to challenge ourselves to keep growing is to embrace what we have, life.
Live or half-live is our choice, yet in doing so we open the door for our children to follow, which will you take, you decide. Just remember and be inspired by the fact your child will follow.
Empowered kids, come from empowered adults. Empower yourself. LIVE.
Sally Anne Saint is a mother to her 10-year-old son, loves nature and the natural world. As a Coach, writer and healer, she has been passionate about parenting from the heart for many years and has been a voice for this perspective for many years. You can find her work and contact her via her website www.wisewomanguide.co.uk